Planting roots in foreign soils: The ebbs and flows of my integration journey
Growing up in urban India, the relentless pursuit to excel was ingrained in me early on. Competition lurked around every corner, leading to mounting pressure on young minds. Despite this societal backdrop, I resolved not to let the pressure to succeed overwhelm me, although it undeniably shaped my early identity anchors. Despite not always shining brightest academically, I discovered my passion through my career and my happiness through my community and family, holding onto them dearly. Nevertheless, change, as they say, is inevitable and unpredictable.
My first international journey doubled as my initiation into a new culture. Visiting my brother in America, I marveled at the skyline, shopping centers, luxurious mansions, pristine nature, and the warmth of the people. Experiencing America firsthand, after only glimpses from TV and movies, was exhilarating. Upon receiving my acceptance letter to a top-ranked program there, my excitement soared. Envisioning my life in this new country, I eagerly embraced the opportunity. However, the transition from visitor to resident proved challenging. Initially adrift in unfamiliar territory, I longed for the comfort of the familiar and grappled with a sense of isolation. With the realization that integrating into a new culture demanded a shift in perspective, requiring me to unlearn, adapt, and forge new connections, I began to unravel the intricacies of the culture, decode its unspoken rules, and find my place within it. Through perseverance and resilience, I forged meaningful connections, both within the international community and among locals. As I delved deeper into university life, I found fulfillment in academic pursuits, social engagements, and professional growth, ultimately discovering some sense of belonging.
Returning to India after completing my Master’s was surprisingly smooth, having roots in the culture helped me readjust quickly. I was fortunate to secure rewarding job opportunities and a strong camaraderie with my colleagues, bolstering my sense of identity within my career and community.
After enduring years of long-distance and months of discussing the possibility of moving to Germany with my partner, I was still skeptical when the moment arrived. Leaving behind the security of my well-paying job, promising career trajectory, and supportive community was daunting. Nevertheless, I was eager to embark on this new chapter together. Confident in my ability to adapt, learn, and progress, as I had in America, I overlooked a crucial aspect: the absence of my university's safety net which provided access to resources, information, and a student community. Each day, I pushed myself to make new connections, engage in social activities, learn the language, expand my professional network, and seek job opportunities. However, the warmth of familiar smiles was replaced with cautious expressions, and finding friends became a greater challenge without the common thread of university life, and genuine network connections were difficult to forge. Struggling to find my footing, my optimism waned. Stripped of my familiar identity markers of career and community, I felt increasingly lost and vulnerable. This uncertainty led to a gradual unraveling of my self-confidence, leaving me questioning my decisions and struggling to maintain a sense of self.
When the idea of moving to Gothenburg arose one late evening in May 2023, I harbored skepticism. I was already grappling with integrating into Berlin society and doubted my ability to start anew in a city with an unfamiliar culture. Seeking insight into Swedish life, I reached out to friends in Stockholm, receiving mixed reviews. However, Gothenburg turned out to be a pleasant surprise. My initial encounter with the city was at a hotel overlooking the picturesque Stenpiren harbor. Expecting a cold reception akin to my past experience, I was instead met with genuine warmth, a departure from my conditioned expectations. Throughout my brief two-day visit, Gothenburg continued to charm me. The city was smaller than what I was used to, but it was captivating. The people embodied kindness and hospitality reminiscent of my time in America and the city exuded a tranquil vibrancy, prompting me to embrace its slower pace and appreciate the simple joys. Moved by these emotions, I wholeheartedly embraced the decision to relocate. In the summer of 2023, we made the move. The initial month in Gothenburg felt like a rejuvenating breath of fresh air, with sunny days, bustling streets, and blooming trees.
As September arrived, so did the darkness, gloom, and cold, marking a swift transition from summer to winter with barely a hint of fall. As I found myself back into the unyielding job hunt, attempting to forge friendships without a roadmap and networking without any cultural context, my mental well-being began to dwindle. Seeking guidance, I turned to International House, drawn by the earnest recommendations of fellow internationals who spoke glowingly of its resources and supportive community. Stepping through its doors, I felt an immediate sense of belonging wash over me. Here, I found not only practical assistance with my job search and resume but also a genuine warmth and interest towards me that was both unexpected and deeply touching. This place, unlike any I had encountered before, underscored the city's commitment to fostering cultural integration and made me feel valued. It did not take me long to return to International House, this time for my first workshop focused on the Swedish Business Culture.
Seeking guidance, I turned to International House, drawn by the earnest recommendations of fellow internationals who spoke glowingly of its resources and supportive community. Stepping through its doors, I felt an immediate sense of belonging wash over me.
What followed brought a genuine smile to my face. The session was not just interactive but also inclusive, offering insights that could only come from lived experiences. One statement from the speaker resonated deeply with me: “Your unique cultural background and experiences are what set you apart. This session aims to help you adjust your perspective when interacting with Swedes, but it doesn't mean sacrificing your uniqueness. In fact, our society thrives on diversity and needs it to grow.” These words lingered in my thoughts throughout the week. Until then, I had believed integration required complete assimilation into the local culture, but this perspective challenged me. It dawned on me that I had the freedom to honor my cultural authenticity while adapting to fit into the local community.
One statement from the speaker resonated deeply with me: “Your unique cultural background and experiences are what set you apart. This session aims to help you adjust your perspective when interacting with Swedes, but it doesn't mean sacrificing your uniqueness. In fact, our society thrives on diversity and needs it to grow.”
With renewed vigor, I shifted my focus from the mere pursuit of employment to a more profound desire to make a positive impact and embrace opportunities that would help me contribute. Through volunteering locally, I learned more about the talent landscape, forged new connections, and gained insights that would ultimately lead me back to International House but this time as part of the team. Now, as I stand behind the desk, surrounded by the same warmth and support that once lifted me from the depths of uncertainty, I am filled with a profound gratitude and determination to pay it forward. Within these walls, I have found not just assistance, but a sense of belonging. And now with every interaction I hope to extend this same sense of belonging to all who walk through our doors, for it is through compassion and connection that we truly thrive.
Written by: Mayuri Bastikar